Beyondpondering's Weblog

Northwest Arkansas Therapy

It is time to stand up June 16, 2016

Filed under: counseling,Therapy — beyondpondering @ 7:33 pm
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I have now come to an even “greater” conviction that there is only one way to prevent the exploitation of ourselves as therapists; and to prevent the exploitation of our clients. “That” way (as I see it) is for trained, ethical, hard working therapists to gather enough strength, stand up, and open their own practices. (Or, at least diversify, and have a side practice as a safety net for themselves.)

Stand up and walk. Walk to a destination beyond our comfort zone. We also need to learn. Sure we are scared because collage only taught us to work for someone else and not for ourselves. Yes, sometimes we need to move beyond our comfort level. Sometimes we also have to get mad enough, depressed enough, and “shocked” enough; we take our negative energy and do something different. We need to muster up courage.

By mustering our courage, even if it means channeling negative energy, we must learn how to run our own counseling practices. By running our own counseling practices, we are no longer contributing, perpetuating, or reinforcing the sociopathic system, which exploits us. Opening our own practice is a form of protest and self-protection. Furthermore, when we do muster our courage and open our own practices, we provide options for our clients.

Our clients (or perspective clients) are also tired of contributing, perpetuating, or reinforcing the sociopathic system. However, sometimes our clients are smarter than we are. They already know they are being exploited but they cannot find options. We still believe we are contributing to the “greater good”; meanwhile we are going down. We drown in our desire for altruism. Sure, we are scared but we cannot help people if we get our spirit, confidence, energy and life force is sucked out of us.

Interestingly enough, besides our clients, nature often possesses wisdom we do not. A mother bird always saves a few worms for herself. This is because nature’s wisdom automatically knows the mother cannot help her babies if the mother is dead. Similarly, we cannot help others if our life force is dead. Stand up. Learn. Move out of your comfort zone. Prevent the exploitation of yourself and help others.

At the risk of sounding elitist, I will sound elitist!

If you are an Arkansas LAC, LAMFT, LPC, and/or LMFT…you have passed some of the highest credentialing in the nation. You are more than just another spoke in the wheel. You are more than just another cog in the counseling industry…

You are “Crème Du La Crème”, the cream of the crop. You are part of an elite group of mental health therapists who have fulfilled Arkansas’ high credentialing. So have faith in yourself and stand up.



I am so tormented be the recent news from my state.

I am so sorry for the child.

I am also so sorry for the adoptive parents who, undoubtedly, must have felt so helpless and hopeless.

No adoptive parent adopts a child with the intent of sending that child away to be sexually abused.

I would say for the most part, adoptive parents adopt out of a deep longing to help a child.

And there really isn’t help “out there” for parents after the adoption.

I have said before, and will say again…

That other adoptive mother,,, who sent her adoptive son back to Russia, probably came to the conclusion that that action was the most merciful; send him back to his own language, own culture, to the food he understood,to the things with which he was familiar…..

and she could not find the help she needed.



2. Ethics?

What are some of the considerations in selecting a therapist? Allow me to first stress ethics. No matter if it is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Social Worker or any other Licensed Psychotherapist, each has a code of ethics they are expected to follow for their respective state licensing board. A code of ethics helps determine appropriate behaviors for professionals. Feel free to go to the State Board to gain information. A code of ethics is designed to protect the public and the therapist. You can also learn if any disciplinary actions have been taken toward any particular therapist.


A therapist is one who is to help you. To do that they need to listen, be kind, and empathetic. However, if a client has never had anyone listen to them, be kind, or empathetic to them, the client might confuse this unconditional positive regard with an emotional connection. It is the therapist’s job to set boundaries and not get involved emotionally with the client in a sexual manner. Now since you are aware of this, what can you do?


You need to “work on yourself” rather than get mixed up in an emotional relationship. Nevertheless, if your therapist is a good therapist, you should be able to bring up this topic in session and work through the matter so you can learn to develop healthy attachments and relationships in your personal life. Love yourself enough to not confuse kindness with a potential sexual relationship. Your first responsibility is to yourself and your own personal growth. Focus on your own growth.   Remember you want change for the better, not more confusion.


You can do this!




Filed under: Therapy — beyondpondering @ 9:09 pm
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So you have decided you want to see a therapist.  That takes great courage. Did you know how courageous you really are?  Just the very fact you have come to that awareness means you are “light years” ahead of most people.  Give yourself a pat on the back.  Deciding you want to make changes also means you are ahead of most people.  Some say that Albert Einstein was the first to say the following: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.  There have been countless versions of the same sentiment, however, you have already come to this conclusion or you would not be reading this.

You are tired of being tired, annoyed about being annoyed, and ready for change. Perhaps you have tried everything you know to try.  Perhaps you have already asked everyone you know to ask.  Perhaps you have worn out family and friends, co-workers and clergy.   You have come to the conclusion you need to talk to someone who is an outside source. Fantastic.  Again, you are light years ahead of most people.

Change can be scary, you know.  Yes, very scary.  However, you know you don’t like the way things are.  You want change.  Be aware that the people around you may not like the changes you make.  Turmoil may arise out of your desired change.  Other people may not like the change and choices you make.  Nevertheless, quality of life is important also.  Really it all boils down to three choices.

Three choices doesn’t sound too hard, does it? So here we go…what are your three choices?   Keep things the same, make things worse, or make things better.

  •  Keep things the same.   But you have already come to the conclusion you do not want more of the “same”.. So keeping thing the same does not seem right.
  • Make things worse.  That is easy to do…do nothing. Forget the phone call, forget making the appointment, then forget to show up to the appointment.

Your last choice:

  • Make things better.  If you have come this far and reading this, this is the only reasonable choice. Isn’t it? I actually place you on an Einstein mentality.  Instead of more of the same you are ready for change.  You want improvement.

You are overcoming your fears by initiating the thought of going to a therapist.  Continue to read and we will talk about various aspects to consider when selecting a therapist.  This is a 6 part series. We will consider ethics, education, licenses, costs, and other aspect of what counseling entails.


(This blog is not intended to replace therapy

but for educational purposes only.)