……asked one mother of a RAD kid….
I quickly retorted….Because there is too much embarrassment and shame….No adoptive parent adopts with this in mind……
They are too embarrassed because their child is always a perfect angel at someone else’s house…
No one knows about the anger directed towards you; the yelling, screaming directed towards you; and pain involved.
They are too ashamed because they get so many critical looks reflecting that they should “just spank the kid”;
or give more consequences.
Or they get looks and comments which communicate that something must be something WRONG WITH YOU, as a parent, that you can not control your child.
Or just the opposite…..
They get too many looks or comments which communicate…
you are too hard on him; or all he needs is love;
but she is always so polite at my house…you just misunderstand him…..
I communicated to the mom to not be ashamed nor embarrassed for we are dealing with the one percent of the children which nothing seems to work.
But there is hope if you are willing to try something different…and I would bet you are…or you would not be calling me now.