I would like to elaborate on this using knowledge of biology as to what happens when we experience fear; THEN LET US CONSIDER OUR FOSTER OR ADOPTED CHILDREN.
When we are faced with a tiger, or we encounter any kind of trauma, grief, rejection of a loved one and so forth, the body floods the system with adrenaline, the hormone of strenuous action and fear or fight. This hormone helps us to deal with the ‘danger’.
Adrenaline activates the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) which is a sub-branch of the Autonomic Nervous System.
It controls specific bodily organs to prepare us for fight or flight. These reactions are BEYOND THE CONTROL OF OUR CONSCIOUSNESS. These unconscious reactions can be responsible for weird physiological symptoms.
The SNS dilates pupils of our eyes, shuts down the digestive organs, increases heart palpitations, relaxes the smooth muscles of bronchi and bronchioles, leading to “breathing problems”.
The smooth muscles of the digestive tract are inhibited, so peristalsis stops, sphincter of the bladder also contracts and the bladder wall relaxes. This may lead to involuntary defecation, also known as encopresis.
HMMMMMMMMMM. So some of the problems our kids have are subconscious?
Maybe we need to consider the “CONTROL” concept. Maybe they are not out to control us!
Are they trying to control us or is something happening beyond their control?