After using all the traditional methods I was trained in, with my own child and at agencies ,,,I am now very much on the Post-Forbes line of thinking. It might be easier for others to understand The Stress Model because they may not have been brainwashed by all the mainstream methods like I was. I now consider the mainstream methods hurtful. When the traditional mainstream methods are used, they keep getting more and more punitive. It seems that at the time you are in them, you do not realize that it is getting more and more punitive.
“Our” kids get stuck at the emotional stage when the trauma happened. 1,2,3,4, years of age…. Even if they are 7,8,9 years old. Interestingly enough, I have returned to my child development back ground. A RAD child may be 10 years old but emotionally 2. However, agencies want their people to talk logic with an emotional child. It did not work. It would seem that society and many in the psychological world, forget about child development when it comes to RAD.
Instead of hyper-arousal and fighting,…….. they shut down, tune out, go to sleep, delay, procrastinate, get depressed, or use that word all parents hate, “NO”. They do not necessarily FREEZE as the deer do in my valley. However, when something is too stressful or overwhelming from their point of view, they can become hypo-aroused as a way of surviving. Their bio neurology responds to an emotional danger the same way they would react to a real life and death danger. They are unable to perceive the difference in the two.
So instead of using power against power, force against force, resistance against resistance, BCI uses a non- threatening approach to help the child feel safe.
And no,,,the child is not allowed to do just anything…However, a child is valued more than material goods. Child proofing a home and protecting animals is very important. Nevertheless, material goods are never as important as a human.